These Dodo Birds Are Back At It

So Calle 13 is about to be on the cover of damn near every major Latino publication in the US. Shiiiit, they're lucky I don't own a mag because they'd be on my cover alright -- with like little horns and mustaches drawn on them (a la grade school). Here's a peak at some of the covers (and excerpts of the accompanying babble/dribble in the articles). One writer actually compared them to the Beastie Boys -- riiiiiiighhhhhhhht, dude! Try again! For humorous purposes, my comments are inserted in caps (yes, i know I'm being evil).


"Calle 13 comes out blasting in a fiery new CD…the long-awaited second CD is a love letter to Latin America [PLEASE! DIDN'T THEY JUST START TRAVELING T0 LATIN AMERICA? SOMEBODY ASK RENE WHERE URUGUAY IS, PLEASE!! SUCH AN OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET SALES ELSEWHERE]… an exhilarating travelogue [TRAVELOGUE? NOW YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO SOUND CLEVER, WRITER MAN] through the sounds and rhythms of ‘El Sur’ with generous sprinklings of Calle 13’s foul-mouthed [NOW, WHY IS IT THAT IT'S OKAY FOR THEM TO BE FOUL-MOUTHED BUT NOT BABY RASTA, TEMPO, OR WHOMEVER ELSE? SOUNDS LIKE CLASSISM TO ME!] lyrical brilliance [ OH YEAH, BECAUSE THAT WHOLE METAPHOR ABOUT THE BALD HEAD AND THE VOLCANIC FLOW ON VOLTIO'S "CULIN CHULIN CHU FLY" WAS JUST BRILLIANT!]… ‘Residente o Visitante’ flows like a muddy river [OR A SWAMP] of pounding-beats, acoustic instruments and sick humor… this is the new Calle 13: bold and controversial as ever, and absolutely ready to take a stand [ON WHAT?]”
– New York Daily News – “Viva” – April COVER Story

“Calle 13 Leads Us Into Temptation…their outrageously clever style has placed them on the throne of the urban genre [PLEASE, THEY'RE NOT EVEN CROWN POLISHERS YET!]… Whether it’s rap, reggaeton or tropical-alternative-urban, the team of stepbrothers known as René Pérez, “Residente” and Eduardo Cabra, “Visitante,” bring their flow to a whole new level by unveiling a superior [SUPERIOR TO WHAT? YODELING?] form of music with the release of their second album, Residente o Visitante…Calle 13 is the new force showing its impact by putting dem bow [MAN, THESE CATS ARE NOT REAL REGGAETON ARTISTS -- AND CAN WRITERS STOP REFERRING TO THE DEMBOW IF THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS?! LOL] to the test. They have redefined quality by raising the bar through their projection of powerful lyrics and original musical proposals [WHAT DID THEY PROPOSE? IDIOCY?] in what we now know as the alternative urban sound…[Calle 13 is] the new generation of outspoken musical revolutionaries [PLEASE, THEY'RE LIKE EL CHAPULIN COLORADO AND EL CHAVO DEL OCHO]… Residente and Visitante operate on a level that ignores classification, limitations and exclusion [AS WELL AS ARTISTRY, INTELLIGENCE, AND SELF-RESPECT].”
– Batanga – May COVER story

“Calle 13 stretch Reggaeton to fit their ambitions… with their second CD, they’re determined to build on their already impressive debut and re-sculpt Reggaeton… In a way, they’re comparable to the Beastie boys… expanding their sound far beyond [a genre’s] previously imagined limits… [they reject] Reggaeton cliché”
- Global Rhythm – May COVER Story

“The duo who have stretched the limits of reggaeton are poised to clarify their identity with the release of their second album… Calle 13’s emergence on the music scene has been sudden and explosive… the group went from underground to Grammy winners at a blinding clip… [Calle 13 are] a rhythmically hypnotic and impishly [HOW ABOUT WE JUST SAY THEY'RE IMPS?] whimsical attack on egos and pretensions [IRONICALLY, RENE'S EGO IS THROUGH THE ROOF!].” – HISPANIC Magazine- April Cover Tag Feature

“Ready To Blow-Up in 2007…Calle 13's avant-garde [TRANSLATION: THE WRITER DIDN'T HEAR THE ALBUM AND THEREFORE RESORTED TO A BIG WORD] debut proved that the genre can have a sense of purpose [AND WHAT EXACTLY WOULD THAT BE?] and the duo continues to push the envelope in '07 with their reggaetón-tango mash-up aptly titled “Tango Del Pecado.”… It's hard to imagine Calle 13 eclipsing their '06 accomplishments [MAN, LISTEN, THEIR ONLY ACCOMPLISHMENT WAS WINNING AWARDS THEY DIDN'T DESERVE BECAUSE THEY WERE FAVORED BY AN ACADEMY MADE OF OLD FOGGIES], but after shocking the world [THEY SHOCKED THE WORLD BECAUSE THEY WERE UNDESERVING, Y'ALL!] …look for the boys from Trujillo Alto, Puerto Rico, to raise their game to a whole new level [UHMMM, THAT'S NOT THAT HARD... THE BAR WAS SET KINDA LOW...].” – New York Post

“Calle 13 is back with a new CD…and if the album is anything like it's first single, it will be a bomb [A BOMB MEANING IT'LL TANK?]. "Tango del Pecado" is the best reggaeton I've heard [AND WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD, YOUNG'UN? IT'S FIRST QUARTER -- BE EASY!] so far in 2007. Residente and Visitante reinvent the genre all over again, as they did on Calle 13's self-titled debut album last year…[Residente’s] lyrical flow is unmatched [WHAAAAAAT? I'LL JUST SPIT OUT NAMES: YANKEE, TEGO, HECTOR EL FATHER, TEMPO, IVY QUEEN, EDDI DEE, DON OMAR, ARCANGEL, WISIN.... LOOK 'EM UP, HOMES], his satirical style a relief in a genre that's taking itself way too serious [OH, SO NOW WE NEED A MINSTREL ACT BECAUSE THE GENRE IS TAKING ITSELF TOO SERIOUS?!! NOT EXACTLY THE SOLUTION]. As with their breakthrough single "Atrévete-te", you can also interpret the song as an answer to common prejudices surrounding reggaeton and hip-hop.”
- La Onda Tropical